I’ve been in a creative funk lately.
I haven’t been writing
much and what I have managed to eke out isn’t my strongest work. I’ve submitted lightly, but haven’t published in a while. Even my tried-and-true habit of morning pages (three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning, a la Julia Cameron) has fallen by the wayside.
Like I said, I’ve been feeling kind of funky.
Then something happened. A few somethings,
actually.
Last week, I’m at home working when the buzzer rings. It’s UPS with a package I’m not expecting. The package contains a book, Why We Write About Ourselves: Twenty Memoirists on Why They Expose Themselves (and
Others) in the Name of Literature, and a launch letter from the editor, Meredith Maran.
This isn’t surprising in and of itself. I’m a writer and a teacher of writing, and often receive promotional craft books by mail
(thank you, publicists!). But it did get me thinking: Why *do* we write about ourselves? Why don’t I?
Yesterday, browsing lit sites as I often do, I came across a literary journal’s call for submissions
for an upcoming themed issue. The theme: sisters.
I have a sister, about whom I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Not just thinking . . . writing.
Last night, I had a dream. In my dream I was writing then I was revising. I reworked a particular moment and read over what I had written. I was moved by the meaningful shift a relatively minor edit had enacted. I felt in that dream-moment deeply productive, accomplished, capable, and
most of all changed.
For the first time in a long time I woke up wanting to write. And you know what? I did.
I’m not sure if I believe in signs, but I do believe in the unconscious mind. Here’s one thing I know about it: When your unconscious self tries to tell you something, you had better listen.
My self told me that during this funky time, for whatever reason, for better or worse, I wasn’t ready to write; now I am.
Here on the cusp of a new year, a fresh start, a clean slate (or page, as the case may be), what will your self tell you?
More importantly, will you listen?
